A Public Service Announcement

I know plenty of preggos right now and I want you to follow this piece of advice:

Record your baby’s birth.

Some of you are probably thinking “duh, what sort of cretin would FAIL to record the BIRTH OF THEIR CHILD!?”  And some of you are probably thinking, “yeah, I don’t really need repeat viewings of me being cranky and sweaty and on gory display, thanks.”  I was one of the latter.  I didn’t want to watch the baby come out.  When the nurse suggested that I might want to feel the baby’s head as it was crowning, I thought the nurse’s head should maybe be checked.

Recently, Brian suggested that if we ever have another baby, I should have them put up the mirror for me to watch.  Um…thanks but no thanks.  First of all, now that I’m on the med-free L&D bandwagon, I think it is difficult enough to FEEL that happening to my body, I don’t think I could bear to WATCH it happen, too.  But also, YUCK, right?  I really do appreciate the miracle of birth, but visually… I can’t even watch the videos of other women.  It’s just … not aesthetically pleasing I’m just gonna go ahead and say it- it’s kinda gross.

And he said, well, maybe I could just videotape it, for you to watch later if you want to.  And again I was pretty sure that was just not something I needed to see from any perspective other than the one I lived through the first time.  But then…

You go through all the work of pregnancy.  The swelling and the back pain and the vomiting and the sleeplessness and the exquisite pain of seeing that happen to your body. Eventually you pray for labor to start, SOON!  And then, there is the labor.  Labor is work!  Plus it’s a little mortifying, having everyone and their brother seeing you in all that…glory.  And then you push the baby out. And you feel like this might be a feat you just can’t accomplish. And maybe you yell “someone just pull him out of me!” (oh, just me? okay then.)  And you worry about swearing or tearing or pooping on the table (!) or cutting off all blood flow to your huband’s fingers.  And then…there it is.  Now is the moment when that amazing, beautiful being suddenly enters this world, and through your delirium or your pain or your exhaustion, you hear that amazing, beautiful cry.

That might be something you want to remember.

And the first time you hold your son or daughter.  And the look on your husband’s face. 

You think you’ll never forget these things.  I’m devastated to admit that a lot of it’s already fuzzy from Lola’s birth.  Corbin’s birth is still pretty clear, and I think “how could I EVER forget these sublime moments of humanity?”  But really, the haze of motherhood makes remembering even your own phone number sort of a challenge.  (And really, don’t even try asking for my social security number unless you have a few minutes to wait while I start telling you my husband’s and then my checking account number and then, wait! maybe this is it!)  So now I’m wishing we were having another just so I can have that damn video.  Sure, you’ll be later embarrassed by moments like these:

nothing says sexy and sophisticated like a hospital gown, an IV pole, boot socks and slippers. Hi Matty. 

welldeserved big

me, stuffing my face with McDonalds shortly after giving birth.

But it’s pretty much made worthwhile by ones like these:


Lola, a few seconds after being born.

Moments after nursing my very first baby for the very first time.

Good stuff that I wish I could remember better.

Also, book the expensive newborn photography.  I mean it.   You can always cancel later, but I don’t want you to spend hours crying one day because your baby is getting big so fast and now it’s too late (I totally did that.)

Trust me.  I’m giving you pearls of wisdom here, people.


7 thoughts on “A Public Service Announcement

  1. I think you’re totally right. Maybe I don’t need a video of the head crowning, because I’d definitely be too tempted to show it at baby’s first date…graduation party…wedding…but maybe just turn the video camera on the instant AFTER he comes out to catch those first amazing moments.

    • Or maybe just have the recorder stay closer to your topside. Cause yeah, no matter how many times DH tells me otherwise, I don’t think I’ll ever wanna watch the actual baby-comes-out-of-THERE part.

  2. So I think you need to post the play-by-play of Corbin’s birth story before you forget. I heard you did it med-free, but how long did you labor and what strategies did you use to get through it all without drugs? I’d love to know because I would like to go drug-free too, but I’m not very confident that I can make it all the way without an epidural.

    • I did the med-free thing, but I was no stoic hero about the whole thing, lol. I don’t know whether a play by play birth story would put a lot of people off, but you know what, I think I will post one. You’re right, I should have record of it before I forget it. Stay tuned!

      • I LOVE reading birth stories! I don’t think you’ll put anyone off with it. There are a bunch of TV shows devoted to it and many women have blogs posting the details. It’s interesting to hear how different every women manages her labor.

  3. Our hospital doesn’t let you videotape… or they do if you really insist and fill out some forms or something. But I didn’t care enough to do the red tape limbo. However, I do LOVE the photos we have from my son’s birth. There is one of me smiling between contractions, and some awesome shots of mine and my husband’s faces as we met our son – our doula was there and snapping away. So awesome.

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