Yesterday, Brian said, “I know what you should blog about.” Of course I paid him no heed, figuring his suggestions for posts were “How my husband is like a superhero” or “10 Reason’s I’ll be Putting Out Tonight!” But then he kept talking and my jaw dropped. Repeatedly. See, yesterday, my
clearly insane dear husband decided to go grocery shopping with BOTH kids. Just to shame me, I think, for being completely unable to accomplish such a feat.
Yup, he was supposed to grocery shop while the kids were at daycare (he’s off of school this week, but they have to go at least 2 days anyway because them’s the rules. Well, they don’t have to GO, but we have to pay for it, so they might as well go.) And then, at about 4pm, I get a call at work; it’s Brian: “do you have any tips for using this Peanut Shell?” Excuse me? My husband has NEVER worn the baby in his life. Despite the fact that this:
is so hot. And this:
is his hero.
So, I stutter out a “where are you going?” him: “I have to take both kids to get groceries.” me: “are you high?”
He was still in his previously mentioned Valium induced coma while the kids were at daycare (good thing they were at daycare!), and he knew how disappointed I’d be that he didn’t get anything accomplished. So, despite my FIRM protestations that he should just wait until I get home, he was heading to the grocery store where he planned for Lola to ride in the cart while Corbin was in the Peanut Shell because I had the Ergo in my car and the Moby scared the crap out of him. (that’s not even HALF my babywearing devices by the way, I’m kind of a fanatic.) I would like to note that by the time he called me to ask where the oatmeal was, Corbin was no longer in the Peanut Shell. Did I mention my husband’s not much of a babywearer?
But here is the REAL point that he thought I should share here: Everyone and their brother bent over backwards to be helpful and supportive while he wrangled those two children. He is aware of the disapproval that I and other mothers tend to get when we have our kids out in public and they are not pretending to be perfect angels. So he was primed to take notice of the fact that if he dropped something, someone quickly picked it up for him, and other such niceties.
He went on and on while I sat there feeling cheated and jealous. Here is my favorite: at one point, Corbin lost his sock (baby socks! whole other rant!), and when Brian found it, he stuck it in his pocket (because dads don’t care as much about things like babies having warm, matching feet.) Well, at the checkout, a woman noticed the adorable One Sock Wonder and, get this: VOLUNTEERED TO SEARCH THE STORE FOR IT AND BRING IT TO HIM. That has NEVER happened to me. In fact, I’d probably have to sit through disapproving comments about how his poor little tootsies must be cold.
I think I must have had a bitter look on my face, because Brian was sure to tell me “I’m not trying to make you mad, I just thought it would be a good blog post.” Oh, indeed sir.
Seriously, when did all those judgy other women get so nice? Why are our experiences so different? I could hypothesize. I suspect it has something to do with the idea that a man getting groceries with two children is novel and delightful, while a woman doing the same is just expected. I don’t really know. What do you think? I’d love some thoughtful words on the subject. Mine can mostly be summed up as: WTF?
ETA: Funny things Lola mispronounced yesterday. m&m = neminem* and Barack Obama = Rockabumma
*PS- another difference in dad v. mom grocery shopping with the kids, Brian bought and let her eat and entire bag of m&ms. And if I remember right, we forgot to brush her teeth last night. Doh!
I don’t really know how this using photos thing works, so FYI- Brad Pitt is courtesy of mamma’s milk, and Galifianakis is courtesy of weekly world news.