Brothers and Sisters

For the first 20 weeks of my second pregnancy, I was sure I was having a girl.  Okay, more like 16 weeks, I’m not clairvoyant; I didn’t know I was pregnant until the end of week 4.  (And I didn’t BELIEVE I was pregnant until almost a week after that.  When the 3rd different brand of test came up positive, I said to Brian, “you know, I think I might REALLY be pregnant!”  and he said, “yeah, I thought so after the FIRST test.”)  Obviously, on the not clairvoyant thing.  Because my baby is not, in fact, a girl.  But until the ultrasound proving otherwise, Brian and I both were just certain we had a Little Sister in there.  We spent SOOOO many hours trying to agree on a girl’s name.  And when we finally did, and I was REALLY excited about it, there it was, a penis.

I had been sort of hoping for a boy.  Partly because I knew Brian was hoping for one and this way I would be off the hook for more pregnancies.  There were other reasons too.  And when they showed me the boy parts, I said “oh my gosh! <huge smile!>”  And then by an hour later, I realized that I might have been so sure it was a girl because deep down I wanted one.

And then everywhere I looked were sisters.  Sisters playing together outside on their bikes, running through the sprinkler in their sisterly swimsuits, having sisterly fights in the booth at the restaurant.  I kept finding pictures of me and my sister as little girls, or any number of my billions of girl cousins with THEIR sisters as little girls.  And I sat there growing a boy.  My kids already had a little larger age gap than I would have thought ideal for sibling bonding.  And now here was another hurdle in the way of their PERFECT sibling relationship that I was determined for them to have.

You know what though?  I don’t think Lola’s going to let a little detail like a penis get in the way of her having a new best friend.  I mean, sure, she sometimes gets resentful and forbids me to feed him (she really does this.)  But she also does sweet yet terrifying things like share her cereal (yup, she just shoved it right in his mouth) and try to pick him up and burp him when he cries.

Furthermore, she NEVER lets him be lonely in a photo op!


^^that one is her making fun of the (apparently ridiculous) open-mouthed-smile I make when trying to get Corbin to look happy for his photos. 

It doesn’t really work, by the way.

But Lola is sure amused with herself:

I still have a nagging doubt, though, on whether a brother/sister combo can be as close of friends as sisters can be.  Reassure me!!!


15 thoughts on “Brothers and Sisters

  1. I will reassure you. I never had a sister, only a brother. We were very close growing up, and we are still fairly close now (different states, different lives, but we still get along really well). I think having a brother was a great experience for me. Boys would have been a lot more mysterious if I had not had one in my life growing up. I think the same is true for him.

    I was actually dismayed that I was having a second girl. I love it now, but at the time, it wasn’t what I expected. I was supposed to have a girl and a boy, because that’s what I grew up with. Still, no more kids for me! Not going to keep trying for a boy!

    These pictures are so adorable!

    • That’s what I keep encountering. They get along well, and like each other, but aren’t close like I am with my sister.
      I do feel blessed to have one of each though. And we can’t really afford more than 2. But really, as overwhelmed as I am, and as broke as I am, and as much as I HATE pregnancy, I can’t give up the dream of maybe adding another baby someday. And it BETTER BE A GIRL, because we have a name I like! And though girl names were hard, we had a MUCH worse time with the boy ones.

  2. I’m going to be brutally honest, there will be days when they will fight so much you’ll wonder if they’ll ever be friends. However, most days, they will get along so well, you might even get a little teary-eyed. Z and M are the best of friends. They have best friends from school who they are clear on their “second best” friends, because they are each others’ “first best” friend.

    I should do an updated version of this blog post:

    • Definitely an update, how cute! Oh, and the second best thing warms my heart. And my sister and I fought like CRAZY, like LEGENDARY fighting. But we were still best friends. 🙂

  3. Your kids are awesome! The photos make me giggle. I grew up surrounded by girls–2 sisters and girl cousins (7 of us, all one year apart), so I’m actually expecting my next pregnancy to be a girl. That should be a ways down the road, but we’ll see. Maybe I’ll end up with a cute little boy too.

  4. I have only a little sister and we are not very close. She calls and asks advice once a week or to update me on life, but in the end we get along now, but I doubt we will ever be best friends or super close. I don’t think the gender matters. At the end its individual personalities and how they mesh. I have many girlfriends who are unbelievably close with their brothers and then again my best friend is w/e about her younger sister (3 year difference). You love them, you visit them, but how you relate is individual.

    • I think you’re right. I had the same misgivings about age gaps, and mostly what I heard was that it’s more about kids’ personalities than it is about ages and genders and whatnot.

  5. haha so funny i didn’t believe i was really pregnant with my son until after the 4th pregnancy test. and then when i was finally convinced i told my husband (for the 4th time) oh it’s positive. i’m really preggers! to which my husband was like…YES i believed you are pregnant the first time you tested! 😉

  6. It’s all about the personality… I have a brother (okay, he IS my twin, so we’re thisclose in age) and we’ve been thisclose as friends forever. I’m, scratch that, WE’RE 47 now. We have a slightly older sister (she’s 48) and I’ve just never been that close w/her. WAY different personalities. We fought like mad growing up; at least we don’t argue or fight now; we talk every now and then about raising kids and such. But my brother–he of the not married, no kids, what do we have in common? variety–he’s the one I talk to for hours on end, every week.
    My kids (ages 8 and 10) are two and a half years apart, girl and boy, and thus far are BEST FRIENDS 50 percent of the time, tolerate each other 25 percent of the time, and wanna kill each other the other 25 percent of the time. I consider us lucky.

  7. Your kids are adorable! My kids are 1 wk shy of exactly 3 yrs apart. funny thing that. Boy is oldest. When I was preggers w/him I was CONVINCED I was having a girl! We didn’t peek, so we didn’t know until his very first b-day party we got a boy. That’s my first vision of him, dr holding him upside down showing his family jewels! Oh, ok, that’s NOT a girl. but I was totally fine with it, we just wanted healthy. Did I mention he was born in August. In Oklahoma. I told the universe I was NOT GOING to have another baby in August. My first mistake. when I found out I was preggers w/my daughter, I cried. Not b/c I wasn’t happy, but b/c when I did the math, I landed flat in the middle of August. Again. Still in Oklahoma. Crap. didn’t peek w/her either and was convinced she was a boy. I apparently missed the clairvoyant memo too. There’s another reason we thought she was a boy. Hubby’s one of 5 sibs. His brothers have boys, his twin sister has girls. (younger sis hadn’t had children at that point). So, FIL is convinced ‘Pearce boys have boys, girls have girls.’ Oh, that’s it. Ok, whatever. Ha ha! got my girl. They are best friends one second, playing and giggling and have a grand time. Next second, at each other’s throats. Drives me insane. But not much different than my brother and me. He’s 3 yrs younger. We got to be much closer after high school and college. Your kids will be great. Unless they’re not. But they’ve got each other and parents who love them, and hopefully they’ll be great friends when it matters most.

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