If I had a half a billion dollars…

So, Megabucks or whatever it’s called is really huge right now.  I don’t know the details because I don’t pay attention to the lottery.  Basically, if you win the lottery today you become richer than God.  Or at least as rich as Snookie (another thing I know nothing about, by the way.  I’ve never seen Jersey Shore.) 

So everyone at my work is talking about what they’d do if they won this huge lottery.  I’m now thinking about it, too.  Which I don’t like to do, because it tends to just remind me of how painfully broke I am.  But here goes:

– I have a pretty large family, but I would pay off all of their houses and cars and I would create a healthy college fund for all of my cousins’ kids.

– I would do other charitable and altruistic things, but I won’t type all those out because the list will get boring.

– My feet would be clad almost exclusively in Old Gringo cowboy boots (and other ridiculously expensive brands of cowboys boots that I don’t even know about) and I would wear real Ray Ban aviators instead of my $9.99 gas station specials.

– I would drive: a SERIOUS off-roadin’ Jeep (PROBABLY an old CJ-7 restored, but I would have a new Rubicon as well,)  a Harley Davidson heritage springer softtail (I would pay someone else to clean that springer frontend for me though,  a ’71 Hemi ‘Cuda.  And I would buy my husband his ’67 four door black Impala.

– I would travel.  I would be the travellingest traveller who ever travelled.  I wouldn’t have to go to Epcot and PRETEND to see the world.  (But I still would.  Regularly.  I LOVE Epcot!)

– I would eat SOOOO well.  I would employ a chef to make sure that most of that stuff was healthy so I didn’t gain 300lbs.  But I would EAT AND EAT AND EAT.  Fine chocolate, imported cheese, delicious asian dishes that I am just incapable of making at home (I SUCK at cooking asian food).

–  My collection of bakeware would put Martha Stewart’s to shame (and I’m pretty sure she has like a whole separate house to house hers.)

– I would have a couple more kids.  And to carry those children, I would have every babywearing device I EVER WANTED!!  Look at this!!!  I’m drooling!

– I would spend so much time with my kids, because I wouldn’t have to work fulltime.  I would work, however, but only part time and they could come with.  Where would I work?  I would own my own library!  And I would bake stuff to share with the patrons.  And I would stock it with good and useful books.  “Can you tell me where to find Twilight?”  “Someone else’s library!”

I could obviously play this game forever, but I’m just getting frustrated by the longing now.


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