Wednesdays with the Kids #6

Ugh, I’ve been so delinquent lately!  I guess it turns out that I’m too busy doing other stuff in the summer.  Yet, sadly, not stuff that’s all that terribly interesting.  How about a Wednesdays post!?

– Can someone please tell me what happened to my son who slept reasonably well for like a week there?  I’m pretty sure the downfall started when I mentioned out loud that he was sleeping better.  I knocked on wood!  Come to think of it, I think it was fake wood paneling.  Rats!  Will there ever come a day when I get to “sleep in” until maybe 7?  That would rock.  Today Corbin’s up at 4:15 and I just. can’t. do it.  I cave and give him to Brian, until I feel just too guilty and get up around 6.

– I have discovered that Lola can turn ANY word into an action verb.  It’s cute.  Some examples: She keeps climbing around and sliding off the couch saying “wee!”  When I tell her to stop her response is, “I was jus’ wee-in’.”  Or when she gets all up in a crying Corbin’s face saying, aggressively, “It’s okay it’s okay it’s OKAY!”  I tell her to give him some space and she says, “I was jus’ It’s Okayin’ him.”  This morning I tell her she needs to go potty and she informs me that first she has “to happy Corbin.” (I think that means she has to make him smile.)  A related favorite, re: Corbin, “He was bein’ happy at me!” 

– Corbin seems to be reaching the phase that Lola reached at about 5 months, where he can’t quite achieve forward motion and he’s CRABBY about it.  In order to get some peace to eat my cereal this morning (Quick side note: the different flavored Frosted Mini Wheats ROOOCK!), I give him an empty water bottle to play with.  Because I remember that Lola used to enjoy playing with my half full Diet Pepsi bottles, and I still seem to dwell on the “what’s good for the goose” way of parenting.  He loves this toy, but I discover the problem with giving a round toy to a kid who can’t crawl yet.  And then I have to get up roughly every 4.2 seconds to retrieve it for him.  Until FINALLY it occurs to me to crinkle it up so it’s not so round anymore and he can get his little hands around it.

– As I return my bowl to the kitchen, my bare feet stick to the random gooey spots on the hardwood floor and I can no longer ignore the fact that I have to spend my entire day off cleaning.  I am irrationally pissy about this. 

– Lola is very drawn to a Winx Club commercial for something or other.  “How to dress up like a fairy prostitute” or something.  I don’t know, I wasn’t paying that much attention because I was trying to get Polly Pocket’s tiny strappy sandal on while holding a crying Corbin.

– Normally, I can’t PAY the people living here to clean up anything (not that I’ve tried, money don’t grow on trees folks!).  And that trend continues for a while this morning, while Lola takes this opportunity, while I’m trying to pick up, to play with EVERY TOY SHE OWNS.  Although, this particular choice was very cute:

The adorable, baby-wearing apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.  🙂

   But to be honest, that might be preferable to when she decides she wants to “help” me.  I’m sure I don’t have to tell the parents among you that having your 3 yr old “help clean” makes the process even more arduous.  Which I have no patience for this morning, so I finally cave to the sure-fire, long-term distraction technique.  Painting.  Of course, then I have to clean up THAT mess, but….

– And Corbin’s crabby again, so…Bathtime!  I also took a VERY cute photo of this, by the way.  But I don’t know what the deal is with posting bathtime photos on the internet…  A couple of things about bathtime, though.  1.  Why does Lola INSIST on drinking the water!?!  It drives me nuts!  I even tell her “you know, you’re drinking your brother’s pee right now.”  Doesn’t bother her in the least, apparently.  And 2. Corbin has the CUTEST FLIPPIN BABY BUTT IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD.  I never understood the idea of an attractive butt, until I saw Corbin’s.  Seriously, I’m thinking of stripping him down for everyone I know just so they can have that little slice of joy in their mental scrapbook, it’s that cute.

– The afternoon proceeds pretty boringly.  At one point, I look at my house and realize that, even though I’ve been cleaning for most of the day, I have way more left to do than I am likely to accomplish EVER.  Which is sad.  And then Brian finally gets home from class and I BEG him to take the kids and go get ice cream or something just so I can finish the bathroom floor.  He does, but I mostly spend my BLESSED hour of no kids (don’t judge!) sitting and watching TV while I fight the good fight against my desire for fast food.  And lose.

– Then my mom calls and says they’d like to pick Lola up to go get ice cream later.  And I agree.  DON’T JUDGE! lol.

– Here’s a little known fact: a baby skunk is called a “kit.”  I say “little known” because I didn’t know that, which is all the criteria I need.  I learned it while playing a Mommas and Babies memory game with Lola (Mommas and Babies memory is pretty much the best thing in the world, by the way.)  Have I told you guys that Lola can’t pronounce Ks and they all come out sounding like Ts?  Oh, yup.  So, you can imagine how vulgar our little game sounded.

– I guess that’s really all I have to share for today.  Here’s a picture of Corbin for good measure:

Faux Fries, Lola-isms, and a New Award!

I just have to start out by saying that I was AGAIN busted as I was singing along really loudly (along with some car dancing) to Born to Run this morning when I pulled in to work.  And then I realized that the car parked next to me actually contained a person.  A person with her windows down.

Beyond that, I’m going to take that last part of the title first, just so I can give a shout out to Coffee Powered Mom, who’s been so kind to me, and is very very funny!  She passed on to me this Reader Appreciation Award.  And I haven’t received this one before, so I thought I’d have a go at it.

And then there are questions.  I wish I was feeling more clever this morning.

What is your favourite colour?

Okay, I’m gonna go ahead and say Seafoam.  Just so the people who know me IRL don’t suspect that I’ve been kidnapped and someone else is now writing my blog in my name (because really, that’s bound to happen, kidnappers are DYING to take over my blog!)  But I LOVE colors.  Almost ALL of them.  I especially like to combine them.  Sometimes I pick up a huge stack of paint chips from Home Depot and just play with them and make color combos.  That’s really flippin strange isn’t it.  The kidnappers are all “I don’t think we should mess with this one.  She’s crazy!”

What is your favourite animal?

Polar Bear.  Duh.  Don’t even have to take a milisecond on that one.

What is your favourite non-alcoholic drink?

Tough one.  I think maybe Raspberry Italian Cream Soda.  But I’d like to give very close runner ups to Diet Pepsi, Fresh Squeezed Lemonade (made by anyone but me because I SUCK at it, which is really torture because it’s not that commonly available),  Horchata, and Chocolate Peanut-Butter Banana milkshakes.  🙂 

Do you prefer Facebook or Twitter?

I prefer death.  I’m just kidding.  Sort of.  I caved and now somewhat use facebook a little bit.  So I don’t get to be self-righteous anymore.  Bummer. 

What is your favourite pattern?

I LOVE patterns!  I’m gonna go ahead and lose the respect of Coffee Powered Mom, though, and say “small repeating flowers.”  You know, like old old cottage-y wallpaper.  But I like most patterns.  Not wild about plaid.

Do you prefer giving or getting presents?

I WANT to say giving.  So that no one knows that I’m secretly a terrible person.  But it’s getting.  I love getting presents.  Because I’m broke but I love having new stuff!  Judge away!

What is your favourite number?

I don’t have one.  I know, I’m sort of eccentric and seem like I would.  I DO feel like numbers have personalities (and I think that’s actually, like, a condition.  Like with a name.)  But I don’t have a favorite.

What is your favourite flower?

Man!  These questions are crazy!  Half of them, I feel like someone’s saying “here is a case of French pastries.  Pick just one.”  I really think that all flowers are gorgeous and I love them and I constantly feel bummed that I never receive them.  A favorite?…I guess today I’m going to say …you know what, I really can’t do it.  I could maybe give you a list of 10.  But really, who’s that interested?  lol. 

What is your passion?

Everything.  I am an overly passionate person. 

Bloggers I want to pass this on to:

Stay at Home Tatte

Sillyliss

Going Coverless

Okay, here is where I have to confess that I’ve had virtually NO time for reading others’ blogs lately.  I swear I’m going to get back to it because I LOVE it.  But these are the only 3 I’ve tuned into regularly lately.  So they are the ones I’m going to mention.  Until I can stop being so self absorbed and adore the rest of you again.

Now then…

The kids and I visited my cousin and her kids yesterday.  I wanted to bake with them.  But I STILL haven’t perfected the art of finding something the kids will be impressed with without losing interest in halfway through.  My plan for yesterday, Cupcake Burgers with Sugar Cookie French Fries. 

It all started out well:

I had premade the cupcakes the night before.  AND I bought (GASP!!!) mixes for the cookies and the brownies to save time.  PLUS store bought frosting.  And these still took all damn day and by the end it was just me and Cami (who was a great helper.  And was also hysterical because she doesn’t do a lot of baking and said things like “you can make things without a mix!?”  And “what does sugar look like?”  She also said at least 10 times “this is so clever!” So she’s my new bestie.  🙂 )

Anyway, here is the world’s WORST picture of our finished result:

I overfilled the cupcakes and undercooked the brownies, and I forgot to bring some essential things like a round cookie cutter (because Christmas Tree shaped burgers would have been less convincing.)   But overall, they were cute.  Basically, the buns are cupcakes, the burgers are brownies baked in a 9×13 pan then cut in circles, the french fries are rolled sugar cookies, and then frosting for the rest.  I thought the little paper containers added a fun touch.  I “borrowed” those from my work cafeteria. 

I think the kids were pretty tickled.  They even brought some to the neighbors and said “did you guys order some burgers?”  It was cute.  Lola had SOOOOOOO much fun which was awesome.  Less awesome was the fact that she spent the ENTIRE hour ride home whining “I don’t wanna go home!”

And now, everyone’s favorite segment (okay, maybe just Matty’s favorite):  Silly Things Lola Did Yesterday

– She found a can of crabmeat in the cupboard, Chicken of the Sea brand, and pointed to the logo and said to me “I never saw mermaid food before!”  All excited.

– One of my cousins was over the other day and every time a plane flew by, she’d tell the kids where it was going (i.e. Florida, Chicago, etc.)  When we were driving yesterday, Lola pointed out a plane, and when I asked her where it was going she said “McDonalds.”  Okay, I’m a LITTLE ashamed.

– When the kids were bringing the little baked good meals to the neighbor kids, we ran over there and they each had a “meal” in their hands, except Lola.  She stopped halfway there and yelled “Guys! Wait!  I forgot my dinner!”  I just thought it was so cute how she didn’t quite understand the concept and thought the other kids were just running with their own, as opposed to the extras for just the neighbor kids.  And also, I was tickled that in our household, to Lola, cupcakes, brownies, and sugar cookies constituted “dinner.” 

– Brian found her a Princess Celestia My Little Pony figure on eBay to go with her (still small) Ponyville collection.  He gave it to her yesterday and I have never seen so much unprompted, genuine gratitude from that girl in my life.  It was so sweet I couldn’t stand it.  She hugged him and said “Thank you so much for bringing me that, Daddy.”  It was just so sincere that it melted my heart.

– Bringing home groceries is the funniest. thing. EVER!  when Lola’s home.  She goes through the bags and just has the weirdest excitement over every. single. item.  “Daddy, you brought this!?”  “New ones!?!?”  “New PRETZELS!?!?!?!?”  And the excitement, volume, and pitch just builds and builds, until the piece de resistance: “NEW HELLO KITTY BANDAIDS!?!” at a level that caused all the dogs in the neighborhood to start howling.  Seriously.  It’s every item, every week.  She gets worked up about paper towels, y’all.  I need to record this next time.

Things that made me laugh recently

– As I was using the curling iron on my hair, Lola asked if I was “making it look like circles.” 

– Lola loves cheese.  When she saw Brian eating hard boiled eggs she told him she wanted to eat the round “cheese part” inside. 

– You know those stickers people have on the windows of their soccer mom vehicles (nothing against soccer mom vehicles by the way, I drive one too!) that have little stick figures representing the members of the family?  I was mentioning at lunch yesterday that I didn’t get them.  I mean, I like bumper stickers well enough.  I sport a bumper sticker myself (mine says “make cupcakes not war.”)  I saw one the other day that said “I [heart] my wife.” No punchline or snarky remark following.  Coolest bumper sticker EVER.  But the little stick people ones, what’s the point?  Just to let other drivers know that you have a husband, 2 sons, and a dog?  Is there any reason in the world that other drivers might be inclined to care?  I just don’t get it, but I might be missing something.

Anyway, the funny part was, my coworker had a brilliant suggestion.  He said he wanted to decorate his own truck window with stick people stickers of something like 2 men, 3 women, and like 12 cats.  And maybe some random inanimate objects.  It makes me chuckle!  And now I’m DYING to see that on his window.  Can you imagine people trying to figure that one out?  Tee hee!

– I have a habit of singing to myself.  Having a little soundtrack going on makes me feel happier.  So I was sort of rocking out to my own a cappella version of Bruce Springsteen in the elevator and then the doors opened before I expected and I was embarrassed.  The funniest part is that it happened again in the stairwell when someone was in there and I didn’t know.  Where do you people get such quiet shoes!?

– I intended to add more to this before I published it.  But then the saddest thing in the world happened, and now nothing makes me laugh.  (A bit of an overstatement?  Maybe.)  You know how I mentioned I have been desperately searching for those Ponyville sets?  Well, DH took the kids to a bunch of rummage sales yesterday trying to find them (which is a lot of work.  He’s got that back problem.  And Lola is SUUUUUPER naughty all of a sudden for no discernible reason. And I had both the stroller and the Ergo in my trunk.)  No luck.  So I find a sale on craigslist that’s a ways away.  I email and she says she has the ponies.  So DH gets there, turns out it a HUGE neighborhood sale.  He takes the kids to like a dozen or more houses.  Finally, at the LAST one, he gets there just in time to see 2 other little girls buy all the ponies.

Fuck!

It was a TON of them for 5 bucks.  The kind of collection that people are asking 150 bucks for on ebay.  Can you imagine the luck?  I mean, how do you get luck that bad?  Now I’m back to searching, but feeling kind of over the whole thing.  😦

I’ll try to update with something that makes me laugh soon, so this isn’t just a totally pointless and mostly depressing post.  There’s a good chance I’ll have something good after lunch.  My coworkers are HYSTERICAL.  🙂

ETA: Well that was quick.  🙂

I headed out of my department and said “I’m headed to the ICU.”  And without missing a beat, Bill’s patient said “Bring back snacks!”  And I laughed and laughed.  First, because it was quick and clever and I’m gonna try really hard to steal it whenever anyone says they’re going anywhere (unless it’s to the grocery store or something, that takes the funny out of it.)  And also, everything in the ICU is either SUPER gross or entirely preposterous to bring back as a snack, but I thought of all of it anyway.

🙂

R.I.P. Ray Bradbury

Ray Bradbury is dead at the age of 91.  I certainly don’t have any better words to commemorate his life than he does. I think his exuberance is what I’ve always loved the most.  I could quote him all day.  His writing really speaks to me. 

“I have two rules in life – to hell with it, whatever it is, and get your work done.”
“We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled. The trick is, knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out.”
 
“You’ve got to jump off the cliff all the time and build your wings on the way down.”
 
“Stuff your eyes with wonder, live as if you’d drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It’s more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories.”
 
 
 
 

Where’s the Plause Button?

Lola says “plause” instead of pause.  “You need to plause it so I don’t miss anything.”  And then, if we forget to plause it, she tells us to “unwind” it.  Cutie!

Lately, I’ve been in desperate need of a magic plause button.  My kids are the cutest ever.  I know, everyone thinks THEIR baby is the cutest one.  But in Corbin’s case, I’m pretty sure he really IS the cutest.  Ever.  He’s just so damn sweet!  I wish I wrote well enough to put the charm into words.  He flops around and smiles with his tongue half sticking out and when he giggles it becomes perfectly clear- Cutest. Ever.

And Lola is getting more freckles every day.  And being such a big girl.  But in the new, still-little kind of way.  She can use the bathroom and dress herself and all those things that make life a little easier.  But it’s all still new and exciting and adorable.  She’s learning things and exercising her independence, but still wants and needs her mommy.  She makes me so proud when she works on a new skill.  And she’s HYSTERICAL!  She says so many funny things (that I want to remember forever but then forget by an hour later.)  And really, if you ever saw her run, you’d have a heartwarming happy thought to treasure.

There are challenges for sure.  Lola’s a pretty strong willed kid, which can be exasperating, but I’ve been learning and am getting better at managing it.  And having an infant and a 3 yr old can be REALLY exhausting sometimes.  There is nary a moment when we’re together that one of them isn’t needing my express attention.  Corbin can be a little on the fussy side.  Blah blah blah all the issues you’d expect with two little ones.

People tell me CONSTANTLY that it gets “so much better” when your kids are a little older and really independent.  Maybe that’s one of those universal lies that people perpetuate because it makes them feel good.  Or maybe it’s just really the truth.  I can see that things are sure a little easier in some ways when your kids are more like school-aged.  I’m sure there’s more freedom, more adult time, a little less physical exhaustion.  I am kind of looking forward to seeing Lola go to school and make friends and etc and so forth.

But then, a happy baby who smiles his damn face off just because I give him a squeeze?  With that little tongue sticking half out?  Heaven.  I think I’d maybe wait like one more month.  Just so the weather is really at its best, and Corbin is sitting longer and more confidently and maybe starting to crawl and eat some solids.  But by then, I just REALLY REALLY want a pause button.  I want to stay here for a good long time.  I’ll hit play eventually, and I’m sure I’ll enjoy the next phase too.  But this.  This I want to dwell on.  I want plenty of time to get sick of it.  Instead of feeling like it’s rushing away from me and I can’t do anything about it.  Because I would love to live in this time for a good long while.

IMG_0685-1

P.S.- Rummage Sale-ing fun continues and boy did we hit the jackpot last weekend.  The best of which was a collection of My Little Pony Ponyville Ponies, with a little house and some accessories.  Problem: they’re all discontinued and I’m having trouble finding more for her set.  You guys have no idea.  We’re so obsessed with these things that we are seriously almost unable to control our impulses to spend like a hundred bucks trying to buy the discontinued stuff online for COMPLETELY unreasonable prices.  So…if anyone knows where to get one besides ebay where they’re too expensive OR if anyone’s kids have outgrown their little 2-inch Ponyville ponies and affiliated playsets- I would love to buy them.  🙂

Example:

I guess I’m ‘That Mom’

Back before Lola was born, my mother-in-law told me, “you’re going to be that mom who makes their kid wear a bicycle helmet in the driveway.”  At the time I think I felt mildly insulted.  First off, that didn’t seem to me like my personality at all.  But also, no one wants to be That Mom.  Whomever That Mom may be.  That Mom who does whatever undesirable thing causes someone to call her “That Mom.”

And now, as it turns out, I MIGHT be That Mom.  Woops.

I keep thinking- How the hell do you let your kids just go play at the park?  I used to go play at the park as a kid.  Without my parents.  It was fun and normal.  And doesn’t it seem sort of unthinkable now?  Or is that just me being That Mom?

My parents talk about taking Lola to Florida, and I don’t know if I can bear it.  The idea of my kid being all the way across the country scares me too much.  I’ve actually had nightmares about it.  I’m really not even comfortable with her at a swimming pool without me or her dad. 

And remember last weekend when I was the only one who didn’t really want my kid playing in Pee Pond?

My cousin told me that she actually thinks I’m more relaxed than she expected.  Thanks, Dani!  Of course, she probably thought I would be a nutcase based on the fact that I followed the bulk of The Rules while pregnant, and once when Lola was a toddler, this cousin witnessed me having a freakout about Lola having a juicebox.  I believe I said “They’re terrible for her!”  And I believe I did it while Dani’s kids were happily enjoying their juiceboxes.  I’m lucky she didn’t hold that one against me, lol.  I lost the juicebox battle, by the way.  I REALLY wanted to be That Mom who only ever gave her kids milk or water and now they would RATHER have water than juice.  But alas, I’m not That particular Mom.  Though we still work hard at keeping limits on the juice and we buy the fruit and vegetable no sugar kind.

And my aunt just sent me an article about how a swallowed battery can burn a hole in a child’s esophagus in 2 hours.  So, I guess I have even more to worry about.

Now, Lola doesn’t actually have a bike helmet.  Gasp!  But that’s only because she JUST learned to ride it, and it still has training wheels, and I just keep forgetting to get to the store for one.  But overall, I think that I am That Mom.  And you know what?  Kids have survived worse kinds of mothers than the ones who make them wear bike helmets in the driveway.