Back before Lola was born, my mother-in-law told me, “you’re going to be that mom who makes their kid wear a bicycle helmet in the driveway.” At the time I think I felt mildly insulted. First off, that didn’t seem to me like my personality at all. But also, no one wants to be That Mom. Whomever That Mom may be. That Mom who does whatever undesirable thing causes someone to call her “That Mom.”
And now, as it turns out, I MIGHT be That Mom. Woops.
I keep thinking- How the hell do you let your kids just go play at the park? I used to go play at the park as a kid. Without my parents. It was fun and normal. And doesn’t it seem sort of unthinkable now? Or is that just me being That Mom?
My parents talk about taking Lola to Florida, and I don’t know if I can bear it. The idea of my kid being all the way across the country scares me too much. I’ve actually had nightmares about it. I’m really not even comfortable with her at a swimming pool without me or her dad.
And remember last weekend when I was the only one who didn’t really want my kid playing in Pee Pond?
My cousin told me that she actually thinks I’m more relaxed than she expected. Thanks, Dani! Of course, she probably thought I would be a nutcase based on the fact that I followed the bulk of The Rules while pregnant, and once when Lola was a toddler, this cousin witnessed me having a freakout about Lola having a juicebox. I believe I said “They’re terrible for her!” And I believe I did it while Dani’s kids were happily enjoying their juiceboxes. I’m lucky she didn’t hold that one against me, lol. I lost the juicebox battle, by the way. I REALLY wanted to be That Mom who only ever gave her kids milk or water and now they would RATHER have water than juice. But alas, I’m not That particular Mom. Though we still work hard at keeping limits on the juice and we buy the fruit and vegetable no sugar kind.
And my aunt just sent me an article about how a swallowed battery can burn a hole in a child’s esophagus in 2 hours. So, I guess I have even more to worry about.
Now, Lola doesn’t actually have a bike helmet. Gasp! But that’s only because she JUST learned to ride it, and it still has training wheels, and I just keep forgetting to get to the store for one. But overall, I think that I am That Mom. And you know what? Kids have survived worse kinds of mothers than the ones who make them wear bike helmets in the driveway.