All Boy

When I found out at Corbin’s ultrasound that I was having a boy, I had mixed feelings. I was surprised- I had been certain it was a girl. Which puts me at 0 for 2 on guessing my babies’ sex. I was relieved- I was already thinking that we were probably going to have to be done after two, and I knew Brian was hoping to have a son at some point. But also, though I HATE admitting it, I was trepidatious.

I am a girl with a sister and like 15 girl cousins. Not only do the mysteries of raising boys make me uneasy, I sort of felt bad that Lola wouldn’t have a sister. So, in a moment of great wisdom (#sarcasmfont), I turned to random blogs and message boards to get me geared up.

“Things that are awesome about having a boy.”

And that leads me to today’s post. I turned up a lot of irritating stuff!

There were the mildly annoying: “it’s so fun to go to their sporting events and cheer.” “You get to buy cute overalls.”

Well, excuse me but Lola is already on her way to being a volleyball star (meaning we pretend to play in her bedroom and sometimes she hits it back to me), and she has often looked A-FREAKIN-DORABLE in a pair of overalls, jerks! What else you got?

Then there were the fairly offensive: “girls are whiny divas! Boys are way more loving and laid back.” “If you have a girl you’ll spend every day of your life choking to death on glitter and pink, prissy crap.”

Okay, who are you trying to convince there, jerk!? I have yet to walk into my daughter’s room and trip on all the tutus. Also, for the record, in my limited experience, the little boys I personally know are way whinier than the little girls.

I’m also not wild about when people say their son is “all boy” because what they almost always mean is that he likes to be rowdy and get dirty. As though those are things that are entirely exclusive to the male gender.

Now that I HAVE a boy, you know, on the outside, I wonder whether there are real differences. So far, they seem very few. I mean, beyond the things that we sort of push on them. Corbin does enjoy his dump truck, but Lola probably would have too, I don’t think I ever bought her one. And just when I was wondering yesterday whether I had pushed her into gender roles too much, she BEGGED me to play a Chuck the Truck game with her.

So, I guess we’ll see. I think the gender differences are sort of what you make of them. Well, you and everyone else. And sadly, the “everyone else” probably don’t share your thoughts on the matter.

But I will tell you one thing regarding Corbin that is ALL BOY! The penis handling obsession. Which was my biggest fear! And it’s come around already! The other day he got so into his penis in the tub that he fell over and bumped his head. And diaper changes!? Forget it. I want nothing to do with this stuff. When moms of boys laugh about how much their five year olds play with their pirates (that’s how Lola says privates), I AM NOT AMUSED. I hope I’ll come around to being less horrified soon, because I believe I’ve got a long road ahead of me on this front.

Lastly, the kids will be having a joint birthday party, and I was trying to think of a way to combine themes, but Corbin’s so young that its hard to say what he’d really be into. But now I have it! I’ll be sure to report back to you all on the success of the Strawberry Shortcake / Penis themed party. ;-P

Oh, what’s that you say? You want pictures of Lola’s overall cuteness? Well, I MIGHT have some.


Cookies on a Stick

I decided this weekend that I wanted to try making those cute royal icing coated cookies on a stick. Which was an interesting decision considering I don’t have time to bake brownies these days, much less try out a complicated new thing. But the baking blogs, they call to me.

I was not quite as good at this as I hoped I’d be. But not a bad first effort. A coworker just found out he’s having a baby girl, so I went with a pink theme.

I used the cookie recipe from Sweetapolita.
And the icing recipe from Sweetopia.

It was a lot of steps. With the rolling and the freezing and the icing and the drying and the icing some more. And the Lola underfoot eating everything raw and begging me to squirt icing in her mouth.

But look what a cute little gift I have for my coworker:

Big Sisters Share

I don’t really have a Wednesdays post because it would mostly go like this:

“Damn it all to Hell!”

It was a trying day. Here’s a little episode that occurred that sort of sums it up nicely.

Me- Lola, what are you doing to Corbin?
Lola- Feedin him snot.
Me- WHAT!?
Lola- From my nose.

At the end of the day, as I wrestled Corbin into his pajamas for an inordinately long period of time while Lola tried to crawl all over me, I said to my husband, “Once upon a time, I would have been able to spend this evening sitting on the couch. By myself. Sigh.”

Anyway, here’s hoping for better things to share in the future. Like an improvement in my attitude. But not today, because I forgot to charge my iPad and it’s therefore likely to be a crappy day.

Happy Thursday!:)

Wednesdays #7

– Corbin’s up for the day at 4:30. Again. He’s sort of started kind of sleeping through most of the night lately (how’s that for a definitive statement? Lol.) but he is up so early every day and won’t go back to sleep. Which also means that by 6:30 he’s unbearably crabby. That makes two of us.

– In these bleary, early mornings I mostly sit around praying not to hear Lola’s feet hit the floor. I love her to pieces, but it’s so early! Every time Corbin makes a normal baby noise I’m like “don’t be so loud!!” So you can imagine how I feel when Brian’s alarm goes off loudly at 6:30. Who on God’s earth wants to wake up to a blaring, slightly garbled version of AC DC’s If You Want Blood? And then hit snooze!?

– So Corbin eating solids is great EXCEPT that I now have to share all my food with him or he cries. He has pretty much turned into a Hungry Hungry Hippo. The blue one. And I’ll be honest, I’m sort of into my food! The worst is that Lola once shared her cocoa puffs with him and now he FLIPS OUT if there are cocoa puffs in the vicinity and they are not in his fists/mouth (and, lets face it, hair/clothes/diaper.) Ten month olds don’t need cocoa puffs!! Well, not that three year olds do either.

– Thank God I now have a five hundred dollar iPad so I can screw around online more!lol. No one on my message board has answered my question about getting Corbin to sleep longer. Probably because if they know, THEY’RE STILL SLEEPING! But just for those who are interested, my favorite apps are Stumble Upon for me, and Scribble Press for Lola. She made the cutest book already. Also, Liv’s Cupcake House is the best game that ever existed, but i finally perfected every level, so bring on the game recommendations. I don’t want to have to spend much money, and I’m not into action type games, more those puzzle type, addicting ones.

– Ok, be honest, am I the only one who OCCASIONALLY runs a not TOTALLY full dishwasher just cause I don’t wanna hand wash all the bottles? I looked at it last night and thought “oh, I can definitely run this in the morning so we don’t have to wash bottles tonight. It’s half full already and by the time I put breakfast dishes in there…” Then I put in all my many breakfast dishes my oatmeal bowl (what the hell did I think I was going to have for breakfast? I don’t cook.) and realized, well, that I’m running it anyway. But I do feel guilty. NO ONE TELL MY COUSIN ASHLEY, she’s kind of a conservationist. Though, she’s also young and hot and in great shape even after having a baby, so she could use a little frustration. 😛

– Lola doesn’t wake up till 8 this morning and holy crap that’s like never happened. Also, OMG THE LEAVES ARE GORGEOUS AROUND HERE RIGHT NOW! So we take a drive to look at them all. I can’t remember the last time they were this good, so I try to figure out some great fall thing to fit in today between errands and Drs appts and housework. I think we’ll go get caramel apples and cider, but if you guys have suggestions, feel free. She goes to the pumpkin farm like every week with my dad, so I’m looking for other ideas. Maybe we’ll pick apples this weekend.

– I have developed a pimple on my chin that is so large that I am fully expecting other pimples to start orbiting it. That is all.

– I’ve noticed a recurring theme in my Wednesdays posts. That theme is Corbin Visits the Pediatrician. I think it’s hysterical that I wait with my kids for 45 minutes to be seen for literally less than 5. And by hysterical I mean infuriating. And it’s ear infections again!

– Lola is soooo obsessed with the color purple. Anytime she sees anything purple she immediately says “purplemyfavorite” all one word like that. I downloaded this coloring book app for her, and her pictures are mostly of purple princesses with purple skin and hair on purple backgrounds. And she cries if you try to sneak another color in there. Even, say, periwinkle.


– Weather’s kind of bummy so we’ve postponed our Fall festivities to the weekend. It’s just more fun when you have to fight crabby crowds and get clipped in the ankle with strollers. We do, however, go to Applebee’s. Because we’re just classy that way. After which I shower with both kids, and Lola uses the bath toys to play everyone’s favorite game, I Squirted Your Boob! You know, like ya do.

– I am now pretending to watch the debate while I play on my iPad and mull over whether I should call in to work tomorrow so I don’t get forced to punch some asshole right winger in the face. And by that I mean my boss.

Truth, Lola Style

Yesterday I was standing in the bathroom while Lola was sitting on the potty, and she looked at me and said, “You’re kind of old.” What the!?

And the kicker was, she may have actually meant it as an insult. We’ve been having a recurrence of the dreaded poop accidents lately (which is literally the most frustrating thing ever!!!! Send help!), so I had put her on the potty and told her she was gonna sit there till she pooped in it. She was not a happy camper, and so as I was minding my business cleaning the sink or something, she told me I was old. Well, KIND OF old. I mean, I’m thirty, I’m not walking around with hard candies and balled up kleenexes in my pocket yet.

Now, PROBABLY she was just making an observation, not intended to insult. Because I’d hate to think of where she picked up the idea that “old” is a great insult; she’s three. And there is a precedence there, when I was pregnant, she once told me I was as big as a house. Which was totally true, though, whereas the old thing isn’t. I work in a hospital. Old is relative.

The real shining moment in this exchange was my reply. When she told me I was kind of old, I told her she was kind of a pain in the ass. WHO DOES THAT!? Little tip, don’t go toe to toe with your three year old when you’re supposed to be a grown up. In my defense, SHE WON’T STOP POOPING IN HER PANTS!

Later, when she was doing water colors at the kitchen table, she said, “I’m going to paint Corbin. I’m gonna make a big head.” Have I mentioned he has an unusually large noggin? I should probably stop talking about it out loud.

Because Lola, she can’t help it, she must speak her truths. I’m going to get so busted.