Tres leches (and other things making me fat)

Remember that post like five minutes ago about body acceptance? Well, I already failed at it. I’ve decided that I really wanna be skinny again. Since making this discovery, however, I have developed an unfortunate addiction to skittles. Like I eat a ton of them. Almost daily. And when I ran out I thought, “Thank god, now I can stop.” And the next day when I realized that there would be no skittles that night, I got kind of anxious about it. For real. Like a for real addict. Like a coke addict or something. Except they’re probably skinny.

And then my coworker was very kind and bought me a bunch of skittles because he was thinking of me. So I’m still in the throes of my addiction. Is it sad that my life has become such that I get really excited about putting the kids to bed so I can watch Friday Night Lights* on Netflix and eat horrifying amounts of skittles? Yes, it is sad. I used to be less boring, I swear.

So I’m going cold turkey on the skittles. Starting today. Which isn’t putting me on the road to slender anyway, because we’re having birthday dinner for my mom. And who the hell wants to start dieting on taco night!? I’m in charge of cake, and what goes better with tacos than Tres Leches Cake? Which is something I make a lot, and it’s a real crowd pleaser. And I’m going to give you the recipe so you can be crowd pleasing too. Take advantage of these kindnesses now, I don’t know if I’ll still be nice when I’m skinny. Hungriness is next to bitchiness, I think.

2 C (10 oz) flour
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
1 cup whole milk
8 T in salted butter, cut into chunks
2 tsp vanilla**
4 eggs, room temp
2 C sugar

– Heat oven to 325. Grease a 9 x 13 pan (I always use my Pyrex).
– Heat milk, butter, and vanilla together in a saucepan until butter melts. Let this cool a bit so you don’t get scrambled eggs later on.
– In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon.
– With an electric mixer, whip the eggs on medium-high. Gradually add in the sugar and continue to whip until very light and thick.
– With mixer on low, add melted butter mixture. Then add flour mixture in two additions. Mix until all is smooth.
– pour into prepared pan and bake for about 35 minutes, or until toothpick comes out with just a few crumbs attached. Cool for about ten minutes, then poke a whole bunch of holes in it and add the Tres Leches mixture.

1 14oz can sweetened condensed milk (AKA Heaven in a Can)
1 12oz can evaporated milk
1 C heavy cream
1 tsp vanilla

– Mix it all up:

Then pour it over the holey cake:

Stick it in the fridge till you’re ready. For me this is usually a few hours, which it needs in order to soak up the goodness. But I bet this cake is fine made the day before too. I like to just serve it with fresh whipped cream:

Happy Birthday, Mom! (And that’s my nephew, Michael)

*This show never appealed to me when it was on TV. But I’ve heard so many good things about it over the years that I decided to check it out. And now I don’t sleep. Because “I’m just gonna start the next episode.” Also, holy hell I wanna be Tami Taylor. Mostly just because I want her super marriage and her awesome rack.

** I would like to show you a picture of one of my very best friends:
Vanilla bean paste is where. it’s. at. I honestly like it even more than using actual vanilla beans.

Yeah, I’m on a photo effects kick again. I’ll try to get over it soon.


8 thoughts on “Tres leches (and other things making me fat)

  1. Lol. I love your way of saying things. I do that with tv shows too. And just like, last week I tried to quit sugar and my back went into horrible spasms. No joke.
    My friend told me it takes 3-5 days to like, get over the sugar withdrawal. So I’m workin on that. As in, eating fruit instead of hyper-processed sugar. But I have this vision of my birthday cake and the vision is pretty much centered around the icing, so we’ll see…

    ~Mia, aka feeling good about feminism mod.

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