My Mom Confessions

You know, I really do wish I were a super mom. Like the kind of mom that just gets it right and does the right things all the time, or even most of the time. But most of the time I’m just kind of flailing. I was going to mention something I did the other day that was not really super mom like at all. And then, by the time I even got around to typing it, all the not so super stuff was just piling up like crazy! These are just from the past month or so!

– I lie to my kids.
Lola fell in love with the Sawyer Brown song “Some Girls Do.” It’s an oldie but a great-y. I hadn’t thought of it in forever, then I found the CD at my dad’s house, and boy did it put a smile on my face. But soon, every time we got in the car I heard, “I wanna listen to Some Girls!!” Which was cute at first, although its disconcerting to hear your small child use the term “white trash.” Then, after months of this, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I finally told Lola I lost the CD.

– I discovered that if I say “what?” to Lola enough times, she’ll eventually forget what she was asking or telling me. I know! Mean! In my defense, I discovered it by accident while actually being unable to hear/understand her. But then I realized it was handy for when she was wanting something and I didn’t want to deal with the meltdown after telling her no. But you have to use this one sparingly. Otherwise she might catch on. Or I might actually feel bad about doing it.

– This isn’t really a mom thing, but it’s delightful. When Brian has shirts that I don’t like or don’t think look good on him at all, I don’t wash them. 🙂 I gather the laundry, and every time I do, I just pass those shirts over. The ugly Alice in Chains t shirt with the little stain. The yellow thermal Henley that’s a little too tight. I was feeling proud of my genius. Until he finally decided to do a load of his own laundry.

– Sometimes I let my kids do stuff they shouldn’t just so I can have a few minutes of peace. The other day, I saw Corbin pulling wipes out of the container I left on the floor. I let him pull out every one so I could beat my Candy Crush level. How wasteful! And then we had to clean them up. Or there was the time the kids were playing in the bathroom, and I knew that was bad news, but having both of them in another room for 10 minutes was so heavenly that I willfully ignored my gut. Until Lola came and told me Corbin was doing something naughty. And I discovered that he had painted the bathroom counter, and his own hands, with blue toothpaste. 😦

– I throw away so much “artwork.” I’m so sorry kids if you someday read this! But every day they bring home something, and they’re not all gems! I hide it in the trash, because Lola has a habit of pulling it back out otherwise.

– I SUCK at the “why? Why? Why?” game. I try. Brian can go FOREVER. But I end up getting frustrated and just saying, “I don’t know, OKAY!?” My mom ends up resorting to, “because that’s the way God made it” a lot. I know because Lola asked me why the bathtub was curved, and added, “is it because that’s the way God made it?” Lol, no, I’m pretty sure God didn’t make our bathtub sweetie.

– When Lola brought home her valentines from school, we went through them together. And when I saw that one was a Fruit by the Foot, I totally made a silently exciting plan in my head to eat it the first chance I got. And I did. When she went to bed that night. She had so many treats, she had no idea. And I had almost forgotten how much I loved Fruit by the Foot! Look, I share stuff with her. Even my Birthday Cake Oreos. It doesn’t get a lot more selfless than that.

– I torture my kids by singing in the car. It used to be that I would rock out to Bohemian Rhapsody until a toddler Lola said, “that’s enough mommy.” Now she’s old enough to really kind of care what we listen to. I like to try to find stuff she likes. But I mean, if you don’t like Bruce Springsteen, that’s your problem. Last night she was literally crying because I left on Miranda Lambert instead of whatever she wanted. And then I decided to sing along. And I got, through tears, “mom! You’re making it worse!” I sang anyway though.

I know there are more. This is just the few most recent. That I’ve shared publicly for I’m not sure what reason. Maybe so other moms reading this can feel better about themselves. Like, “well, I didn’t get any educational activities in today, but Geez, I’m sure a better mom than THIS woman!”